Cockroach Janta Party

BREAKING

COCKROACH JANTA PARTY WINS HEARTS ACROSS THE NATION ● CJP PROMISES 50% WOMEN RESERVATION IN CABINET ● CHIEF ELECTION COMMISSIONER ON HIGH ALERT ● GODI MEDIA ANCHORS REFUSE TO COVER CJP RALLY ● "VOTE FOR THE INDESTRUCTIBLE" — CJP CAMPAIGN SLOGAN GOES VIRAL ● ANTI-DEFECTION LAW REFORM: 20-YEAR BAN ON TURNCOATS ● CJP MANIFESTO: ARREST CECs UNDER UAPA FOR DELETED VOTES ● COCKROACH JANTA PARTY WINS HEARTS ACROSS THE NATION ●

THE REVOLUTION AGENDA

Our Manifesto

Five demands. Non-negotiable. For the people.

No Post-Retirement Rewards

If the CJP comes in power, no Chief Justice shall be granted a Rajya Sabha seat as a post-retirement reward.

Votes Are Sacred

If any legit vote is deleted — whether in a CJP or opposition-ruled state — the CEC shall be arrested under UAPA, as taking away voting rights is no less than terrorism.

True Women's Reservation

Women shall receive 50% reservation — not 33% — without increasing Parliament's strength. Additionally, 50% of all Cabinet positions shall be reserved for women.

Free The Media

All media houses owned by Ambani and Adani shall have their licences cancelled to make way for truly independent media. Bank accounts of Godi media anchors shall be investigated.

20-Year Defection Ban

Any MLA or MP who defects from one party to another shall be barred from contesting elections — and from holding any public office — for a period of 20 years.

SATIRE SCIENCE

Why Cockroaches Never Die

A political metaphor backed by survival science

Survives Nuclear Radiation

Just like our politicians survive every scandal, cockroaches can withstand radiation levels lethal to humans. Some things just don't die.

Survival Rate: 85%

Headless For 9 Days

Cockroaches can survive without their head for up to 9 days. Coincidentally, so can most government committees.

Headless Governance: 92%

Adapts To Any Poison

They rapidly develop resistance to pesticides. Our party adapts to every political poison thrown at us — scams, scandals, CBI raids.

Adaptation Speed: 99%

350 Million Years Old

Cockroaches outlived dinosaurs. CJP intends to outlive every authoritarian regime, oligarch, and corrupt judiciary in this country.

Longevity: 100%

COCKROACH SURVIVAL STATISTICS

The Numbers Don't Lie

Supporters Nationwide

and counting every second

States Covered

the revolution has no borders

Unbreakable Promises

zero broken, unlike the others

Years of Cockroach Survival

we were here before you

PARTY HISTORY

The Timeline

From the sewers to the parliament

Day 1

Birth in the Underground

CJP was founded in a WhatsApp group of 5 disgruntled citizens, 2 memes, and 1 cockroach who somehow got admin rights.

Day 2

The First Manifesto Leak

Someone leaked the CJP manifesto to a Godi news channel. They refused to air it. The manifesto went viral anyway.

Day 3

Digital Swarm Begins

CJP's social media army of 4.7 million mobilized across Twitter, Instagram, and one surprisingly political Reddit thread.

Day 4

First Street Rally

Held in 28 states simultaneously. The police tried to use pesticide. It didn't work. Obviously.

Day 5

Preparing for Power

CJP files official papers, fields 543 candidates, each swearing on the Great Cockroach Constitution to never defect, never sell out, and never die.

CAMPAIGN PROMISES

🪳 Free wi-fi in all drainpipes ● 🪳 CEC arrested if even one vote goes missing ● 🪳 50% women in cabinet — NO exceptions ● 🪳 Godi media bank accounts frozen — effective immediately ● 🪳 Defectors banned for 20 years — no appeals, no mercy ● 🪳 Chief Justice Rajya Sabha deal cancelled forever ● 🪳 Nuclear-proof democracy guaranteed ● 🪳 Cockroaches officially protected species — under CJP rule ●

JOIN THE RESISTANCE

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